Since I had heard about “350 pounds and you eat free”, I knew I wanted to go to The Heart Attack Grill. No, I am not 350 pounds but it sounded like the perfect restaurant to visit in the home of sin, Las Vegas. The burgers are named after heart disease, the place is called the Heart Attack Grill, and if you are extremely fat there is a weigh in station when you enter, so I thought the food must be delicious and extremely unhealthy. Sometimes the unhealthiest food is delicious… in moderation.
We arrived at Heart Attack Grill which is located in the iconic Old Las Vegas and were greeted by the sound of souped up motorcycles revving their engines and music blaring. It was a completely different feel than the Las Vegas strip and had a grungy feel to it. The sign on the outside of the restaurant was partially burnt out, but that was fitting of the restaurant. The outside of the restaurant looks like a dump and there’s a massive sign saying “350 lbs eats free.” When you enter, you are greeted by a lady dressed as a nurse who dresses you in a hospital apron and if you are a very large individual, you will be weighed in at the front of the restaurant. You will see old newspaper clippings on the wall talking about the philosophy of the restaurant and articles of extremely obese people dying while eating there. There will be eerie music playing at the entrance, and it is almost like you’re walking into a bad horror movie.
The Heart Attack Grill only takes cash, because “you might die before the check clears”, so that’s one thing to consider before going there. The menu is pretty simple with the different levels of bypass burgers such as the Single Bypass Burger, the Double Bypass, and all the way up to the Octuple Bypass burger. There is also a coronary dog and a small assortment of deep fried sides to choose from. There is also the famous milkshake, which is nothing more than an extra sweet basic milkshake, with a slab of butter dropped into it. The food was greasy and it was tasty, but nothing special. But you don’t go to the Heart Attack Grill expecting a Gordon Ramsay burger, you go there to eat like a fat shit and experience the sinfulness of Vegas.
Another warning, watch what you order, because if you don’t finish your food, you will be brought to the front of the restaurant and spanked by one of the “nurses” with a leather strap. When we arrived, my friend begged our nurse not to spank him, and warned her that he rarely finishes his meal. He used the excuse of “anxiety” so she agreed to let him off the hook. I had the milkshake, which was nothing special, a beer and the single bypass burger with fries. It is a large burger, on a fresh buttery bun with chili, cheese, bacon, onion and a tomato. The burger was okay but the fries were really good. It was extremely filling, and I couldn’t quite finish. So being a good sport, and not complaining about “anxiety”, I went to the front and got ready for my spanking. While up there, there was clapping and chants of people yelling for me to “finish your burger you bitch”. And instead of 3 spanks, which I was supposed to receive, I ended up taking 6 on the butt. Apparently, I had to take the extra 3 for my friend.
All in all, it was a fun experience. The food was greasy, extremely filling but mediocre. The restaurant looks like a dump, but the horror movie vibe, the offensive nature and experience was worth it. The prices were modest too. While there, we also experienced someone over 350 lbs enter the restaurant, and that was a spectacle itself. There was also someone dressed as Allan from the Hangover who ordered the Octuple Bypass Burger with 8 patties. I will remember the restaurant forever, not for the food, but for the audacity of it all. Would I go back? No. But I’d definitely recommend anyone whose looking for a funny experience in Vegas to try it out.
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